Girls Night Out...ish

Last weekend Trix and I had a bona fide girl’s night out!

It started at around 10p when I met Trix at the Blu Katt Nightclub where we were going to hear a band that Trix likes. It turns out; it was the Mac Daddys...the same band I drunkenly attempted to try out for on St. Paddy's Day. I didn't think they would remember or even see me, so I still felt safe to go in and enjoy the show.

Well, the band was great, but my night in general was a bit more entertaining.

From the minute we walked into place, guys were checking Trix out, I have been in this situation enough to know that if any of the guys had enough nerve to talk to her, their friend would follow to distract me. (One of my best friends has always been the "hot one" so I know how this works) I just hoped that when the time came he didn't have a horrible mole or incredibly bad breath.

We ordered our drinks, talked about boys and waited for the band to come on while trying not to notice this guy wearing a pastel dress shirt inching closer and closer to Trix probably trying to get a conversation started. He didn't have a friend with him so this was definitely going to tricky so I was curious as to how he was gonna make this happen.

We listened to the band, got up and danced and, of course, I started the party in the nightclub. The band was every bit as good as I remembered from March and we were having a blast.

At the first break, we went back to the bar and ordered more drinks, and then Trix got up to say hello to a friend and Pastel immediately moved closer to me and said "Your friend's cute," I agreed and we struck up a small conversation and it made me tolerate him and I found he was pretty likeable. I found out he was there celebrating with a friend of his that came out to celebrate her divorce (the band announced it. This is Terre Haute, what did you expect?) He had a quirky sense of humor and very subtly highlighted all of the things he really wanted to brag about. He seemed like an OK guy and I was a bit confused about the attention that he was giving me because I was sure that he liked Trix and I was not interested. But whatever, I was happy to have someone to talk to and before long; he nodded over to Trix talking with her friend. "Who's that guy? Is that her friend or her 'friend-friend'?"

Oh. I see. He didn't need to come with a wingman. He was preparing me as his wingman. Well played, Pastel. Well played.

By the time she made her way back over to us, I was prepared to say “Haaaave you met Pastel?” We ordered more drinks, I told Trix Pastel was interested and then she spotted Fastcars.

Fastcars is. Well, I don’t know exactly know how to describe Fastcars, except that he is an insurance agent and he likes Trix and she likes him. The two of them keep having stalled starts and I was out with girls a few weeks ago and saw him out with a trollop carrying a lollipop.

I don’t think much of Fastcars and for the night I was team Pastel.

While Trix and I actively ignored Fastcars, Pastel was making his move and engaging her in conversation. After he bought us shots, Fastcars made his way over.

And that was when the pissing contest began. I decided to enjoy myself on the dance floor while Trix got drenched. I don’t know when, but eventually Fastcars went away and Pastel and Trix started to enjoy themselves on the dance floor. That was around the time I was trying to avoid my one admirer: a large shock-blond lesbian that kept finding her self next to me any time I was on the dance floor.

I don’t know why, but people always seem to think I am a lesbian. CeeCee, Prue and I were just joking about this the other day. I own several Indigo Girls cds, I know all the words to “Mouth,” I have been to a Melissa Etheridge concert…and enjoyed it, considered both being a vegetarian and a small dog mom and even though it is not a Jeep Liberty, I do drive an SUV.

Though I love women, I don’t love women and besides, I get along very well with gays so I can’t possibly be a lesbian.

Shock Blond didn’t know any of this, so while I didn’t have Trix as barrier, she made her intentions known while the band was singing “I’ll Take You There.” She got real close and what I can only imagine what she probably thought was a seductive manner whispered in my ear “I’ll take you there” with the band. I looked at her smiled awkwardly and told her “I prefer to stay here.”

I didn’t see her anymore after that.

Not a lot of time passed before Fastcars swooped in to buy Trix and I another round of drinks, this time I went for a vodka gimlet which turned out to be very strong. I drank it all and was a bit unsteady. Without even realizing it, I had become drunk. Very drunk

All because guys wanted to get with Trix.

I felt like a twenty five year old when the band took their next break. I managed to stumble over to the Mexican restaurant next door and after inhaling a taco dinner and sucking down a bottle of water I felt better about my ability to drive home and annoyed that stupid boys ruined our GNO.

I guess I shouldn’t feel so bad. I did pique the interest of a large lesbian who did offer to “take me there” and there was a gentleman that went by the moniker of “White Chocolate” that followed me outside when I went to get some air that he was watching me dance all night and was enjoying it. He also asked if I ate snickers bars (I do, they are my favorite!) because I am (in his opinion) as thick as one.

Now before there is outrage, you have to understand that this was to be a compliment. Though I have never understood it, guys have always described me as “thick” and I have always been expected to swoon. Apparently, it is every black girls dream to be thick.

I was trying to make my way back inside when he said “Yea girl, go’ on back inside and dance. It’s making me tight in all the right places.”

I no longer felt the desire to shake my funky stuff.

By the time the band stopped, Shock Blond never reappeared, but White Chocolate had (I just pretended I didn’t see him), Trix and Fastcars left together (not what you think), Pastel left the club sad and I was sober enough to drive home.

It was a pretty good night, I heard an awesome band play (they also enjoyed my dancing…just not as creepily), I didn’t run into anyone from my job and I didn’t have to buy all my drinks.

I have no idea what to expect from this weekend, all I ask is that I am not compared to a Snickers bar…it kind of ruined them for me.