Saturday, July 20, 2013

Fakin' It

I am in a weird place. 


Have been since I had that break down on Isaiah's tenth birthday. I have been struggling in my confidence and self worth and really having a hard time not seeing myself as that really messed up, sad and confused 23 year old.


I realized the other day that I have been employing the "fake it 'til you make it" way of life. I have been doing a bang up job of faking it, but I don't know if I am gonna make it. Also, it is getting a hell of a lot harder to maintain. People are starting to notice the cracks and at some point I have to come out of hiding.


I haven't felt like myself in a long time and I have no idea what to do about it. By the grace of 

God I got through the month of May and I had mission trips all of June, but when July came around I kind of just gave up. 


I had the opportunity to face my demons, instead I just ignored them and wallowed. I don't know how exactly to get on track, but I plan to. 


I just need a little help.