Lainie the Partycrasher

I'm famous.

Well, not really, but I do have a fan page on Facebook and a video to go with it. I basically talk about how awesome I am at starting the party no matter the holiday and as my friend shout holidays/events, I sing a relate-able song and make up a dance off the top of my head. It was made on a random weeknight before my friend and her husband went back Ireland so we were hanging out and we got a little bit silly without the assistance of alcohol...just Diet Coke and Chicago's pizza.

I am kind of internationally known (so no, I am not Rob Base) with fans in Ireland, Canada and Asia. Though I don't know if I am a big deal in Japan or not, the video is becoming a big deal in Terre Haute. If you google my (real) name, it is the first thing that comes up and a lot of the teens I serve have seen it many times and are even getting their friends to watch.

It is a funny video! I think it is a great thing for the teens to know I am kind of cuckoo and adults can be fun, that is one of the key reasons I am good at my job.

Too bad not everyone feels the same way.

Trish called today concerning the video. Someone who wouldn't give their name called and demanded that Geoff be made aware of the video and its inappropriate nature. According to this woman, my boobs were hanging out and I was gyrating suggestively. 

Lies.

ALL LIES!

I hadn't seen the video in a while so I watched it again and there was absolutely nothing wrong with it.  I don't know what this lady's issue is, but me goofy dancing while COVERED UP is not inappropriate and it certainly isn't grounds for calling my boss and stating that she will call our main office and make sure that they know about it as well. Actually, the only thing truly offensive about the video is that I was forty pounds heavier then and the camera is not kind.

Sometimes I don't get the folks in this town. Ever since I moved here, I realized that because of my job, people I have never met know exactly who I am and because I don't exactly look like everyone (not many black girls with a fro around here), I can't just sink into the background...even if my personality did permit such wallflower behavior.

It is not possible for me to have a bad day in public, I can't get annoyed with the cashier when she makes a mistake for the 85th time, I am unable to just cross my fingers and hope I have enough money in my account so my debit card goes through when I am buying those super cute shoes (admit it single ladies, you do it too!) like I used to for fear that if it gets declined, there will be much gossip and many a food basket at my front door.

Sometimes, I just can't be me.

Not that I am an abrasive shop-a-holic (not a word, city friends!), but I would love to have a bad day and not have people talking about it until next week. Or make a small mistake that doesn't call for flapping jaws. I told Sassy, that I have never felt as guarded and cold in my life! I work for an organization that is known for doing good (we have no choice, it's just who we are) and I am constantly running into obstacles where I cannot be seen as separate from my job and I am expected to always be at work long after I've left my desk.

Now this.

It's not like I pulled a Kardashian and got all up on some guy, I was dancing and singing. Much like the same dancing and singing that I do when I am with the teens.  I was just being Lainie and starting the party, in this ladies mind I guess I am crashing it.

That's me, Lainie the Partycrasher.

Sassy says that now that  I am in my second year, people have decided about me and I now have fans and foes. My fans are the ones that think I am fantastic (as they should) and make me aware that I am still not only welcome, but have an open invitation to start the party. My foes will now be watching me looking for weaknesses and treating me as if I have crashed their party.

Now I have crashed a party before, there was that time in first grade that I was sure when a classmate didn't invite me to her party that it was an oversight...I may have been a slightly delusional child. (I am sure Ms. Bloom didn't mean to make people feel bad, but she had her stand in front of the class and invite the five kids she wanted to come. Who does that?! ) The girl sitting next to me was invited and I copied all of the information, went home and told my mom I had been invited to a party for the next day. No joke, my mom and I got up the next day, bought her a gift, wrapped it, hopped on the bus (with my baby sister in tow), went to her house and enjoyed the party like I was supposed to be there all along. 

I honestly don't know how I got away with it. Maybe I ignored the awkwardness that came when the girls were staring at me like I had three heads and was forced to either play by myself or with the younger kids. when it was time to go, I walked to the door, turned around to face her and said "I know you didn't invite me, but I am glad I came, I had fun and the cake was good." Then I left.

6 year old Lainie had balls. Wha-what?!

You may call it crashing, I call it refusing to let people miss out on my awesome-ness.

Maybe, while she is waiting to experience my awesome-ness, anonymous caller lady thinks that with this video I am somehow imposing and making everyone sing songs and dance as they relate to holidays. Maybe she is scared I will make her children pursue Judaism, I am after all spinning like a dreidl in celebration of Hanukkah!

 All I can think when I heard Trish telling me about this is that this anonymous complainer doesn't know and apparently has no desire to rectify it. She just felt threatened because she doesn't understand me and also because different equals bad to some of the folks around here, I must be stopped. I must be stopped by as many people as possible, because that is what calling Geoff and the main office will do.

I don't want this to be a big deal, but I can't help but think I will be forced to take it down and when that happens, there will be another piece of who I am that will claimed by this town and not only that, I will start to lose sight of who I used to be.

Is it wrong that I just can't let that happen? Wrong that as silly as that video is, I would hate for it to be lost (I don't have a copy)? I would be hate for the memories of that day and good times spent with friends in my city fail to be tangible. I really do want to hang on to that part of me because I can't verbally bitch-slap the cashier or try no less than three cards desperately attempting to buy those super cute pumps.

As much as moving here has been great for my growth and has allowed me to move on from pain, it really does suck sometimes.

I just can't let anonymous caller and her supporters crash the party I started.