I left the Haute for the holidays.
I was gone just over two weeks and I realize how much I could get back into the grove of city living and how much Terre Haute has effected my worldview(or at least my cityview).
I arrived on a Saturday night and from that moment on I got to work on seeing friend I missed dearly. Over the course of four days I went to the theatre (birthday present!), White Chocolate Grill, The rail (10 cent wings!), The Holiday Club (birthday karaoke!), Bennegan's (birthday burger!), and ice skating (more birthday!). I wasn't at all sick of my birthday by then...especially since it was still two days away (I know, I am super spoiled). I was excited to spend Christmastime in my city as I think it is the most magical place in December. I love riding the city train (something about the peppermint scented pee...) and downtown is the most lit it has been all year!
It was comforting to know how much I didn't lose touch since I have been away and I felt I was living in an idyllic city world (you know, the stuff movies are made of!) and I started to really miss it and was wondering what life would be like if I had stayed.
Then came Christmas weekend.
My family and I went to New York City for the Christmas holiday because my super cool baby sis works for the news and she had to work and we missed her more than ever. As much as I was excited that we all got to be together for Christmas, I was losing my mind because we all got to be together for Christmas and by the time we unwrapped the last present, I was wondering how much it would cost to leave a day and a half earlier than intended (too much). Just do the math : (5 days + 4 nights x 8 people) / 1 Brooklyn apartment = 1 irritated Lainie that is ready to go home. Too bad our flight was delayed three hours which didn't help matters any. Long story short, I was done. I stuck a fork in myself to confirm it and everything. I was ready to home and I would have been OK except "home" was right where I left it: in Terre Haute, IN. By the time we landed at 2am on December28th, I felt a little lost.
The rest of the time I was in my hometown, I was a wreck. I met up with friends and rang in the new year and stayed with friends in spaces that weren't my own. For the first time in my life I didn't feel like the city was mine. I was just visiting and it was possible I was overstaying my welcome. The city still felt like home, but I no longer lived there. It seemed like the moment I left, life kept going (the nerve!). Like me, things have changed, things stayed the same. I seemed to have developed a greater distaste for traffic and I seemed to forget how to read the parking signs I grew up reading. No worries, it took me $220 and a trip to the city impound to jog my memory . As I was sitting in the impound with out-of-towners that didn't know any better, I realized that I was just like them.
I, Lainie Mac, have become an out-of-towner. I have somehow changed from living my city life to adjusting to city life even if only for two weeks. On my drive back to the Haute I reminded myself that adjusting is exhausting and if I have to adjust to a new place, I want my bed to be there 'cause I love me a good nap! I also found myself wondering if I would ever truly call Terre Haute home and not just the place I live. Would I ever get giddy about annual traditions or embrace the magic their downtown has to offer. While I was home, my friend Sunny mentioned that she really wants to come see me and excited as I would be to see her, I honestly can't imagine what I would possibly show her. I already know what I would show the twenty or so people I have promised to bring to my hometown, but here? What will we do when she is here? That is something that I wil have to find out. Something to which I may have to be open. I know there are treasures here hiding under the smell that greets you when you first drive into town, but treasures nonetheless. I love home and I miss home everyday, but I have to get used to the fact that I visit home now and people are going to start visiting me here.
So, my hometown may have my heart now and forever, but Terre Haute is currently where the queen size Sealy Arrington sits with a super comfy memory foam mattress pad. That is where I was driving on Sunday afternoon and I promised myself to keep it that way for at least two years. Home. Where the bed is.
I was gone just over two weeks and I realize how much I could get back into the grove of city living and how much Terre Haute has effected my worldview(or at least my cityview).
I arrived on a Saturday night and from that moment on I got to work on seeing friend I missed dearly. Over the course of four days I went to the theatre (birthday present!), White Chocolate Grill, The rail (10 cent wings!), The Holiday Club (birthday karaoke!), Bennegan's (birthday burger!), and ice skating (more birthday!). I wasn't at all sick of my birthday by then...especially since it was still two days away (I know, I am super spoiled). I was excited to spend Christmastime in my city as I think it is the most magical place in December. I love riding the city train (something about the peppermint scented pee...) and downtown is the most lit it has been all year!
It was comforting to know how much I didn't lose touch since I have been away and I felt I was living in an idyllic city world (you know, the stuff movies are made of!) and I started to really miss it and was wondering what life would be like if I had stayed.
Then came Christmas weekend.
My family and I went to New York City for the Christmas holiday because my super cool baby sis works for the news and she had to work and we missed her more than ever. As much as I was excited that we all got to be together for Christmas, I was losing my mind because we all got to be together for Christmas and by the time we unwrapped the last present, I was wondering how much it would cost to leave a day and a half earlier than intended (too much). Just do the math : (5 days + 4 nights x 8 people) / 1 Brooklyn apartment = 1 irritated Lainie that is ready to go home. Too bad our flight was delayed three hours which didn't help matters any. Long story short, I was done. I stuck a fork in myself to confirm it and everything. I was ready to home and I would have been OK except "home" was right where I left it: in Terre Haute, IN. By the time we landed at 2am on December28th, I felt a little lost.
The rest of the time I was in my hometown, I was a wreck. I met up with friends and rang in the new year and stayed with friends in spaces that weren't my own. For the first time in my life I didn't feel like the city was mine. I was just visiting and it was possible I was overstaying my welcome. The city still felt like home, but I no longer lived there. It seemed like the moment I left, life kept going (the nerve!). Like me, things have changed, things stayed the same. I seemed to have developed a greater distaste for traffic and I seemed to forget how to read the parking signs I grew up reading. No worries, it took me $220 and a trip to the city impound to jog my memory . As I was sitting in the impound with out-of-towners that didn't know any better, I realized that I was just like them.
I, Lainie Mac, have become an out-of-towner. I have somehow changed from living my city life to adjusting to city life even if only for two weeks. On my drive back to the Haute I reminded myself that adjusting is exhausting and if I have to adjust to a new place, I want my bed to be there 'cause I love me a good nap! I also found myself wondering if I would ever truly call Terre Haute home and not just the place I live. Would I ever get giddy about annual traditions or embrace the magic their downtown has to offer. While I was home, my friend Sunny mentioned that she really wants to come see me and excited as I would be to see her, I honestly can't imagine what I would possibly show her. I already know what I would show the twenty or so people I have promised to bring to my hometown, but here? What will we do when she is here? That is something that I wil have to find out. Something to which I may have to be open. I know there are treasures here hiding under the smell that greets you when you first drive into town, but treasures nonetheless. I love home and I miss home everyday, but I have to get used to the fact that I visit home now and people are going to start visiting me here.
So, my hometown may have my heart now and forever, but Terre Haute is currently where the queen size Sealy Arrington sits with a super comfy memory foam mattress pad. That is where I was driving on Sunday afternoon and I promised myself to keep it that way for at least two years. Home. Where the bed is.
No comments:
Post a Comment