This is bad.
I knew this would happen, yet I didn’t see it coming. Now I
am stuck here trying to figure out both how I got myself into this and how to
get out of it.
I, Lainie Mac, am trapped.
This is no ordinary trap! This one is well crafted complete with
compliments, check-ins (he wanted to make sure I made it home OK for the
holiday) and Mr. Smiley and all of his cousins.
I am in a text trap.
They always start out saying something like “Hey pretty lady/
beautiful/sweetness,” (giddy every single time) and we communicate about our
day, make jokes, flirt, make plans for our trip to New York City I called him
on his bluff for that last one and asked him when we would leave to which I got
an “umm, idk” and I responded “Tease.”
I didn’t hear from him until the next day.
Working against us are bad timing (I have been busy with
work and a class I took in Indy last weekend and he has been sick) and the
possibility that he may not be that into me. But I really want him to be…at
least long enough to buy me dinner and to make out, of course.
Under the advisement of friends, I have been careful to keep
the texting more flirty than friendly or I will get stuck where I have always
been…the friend zone. That dreaded awful place where I spend most of my relationships
with men and that is about to change.
Once I am free from this trap!
Don’t get me wrong, I am having great text. The most amazing
text of my life even, I crack him up, he cracks me up. We are starting to
understand each others humor and I don’t have to explain myself or check to
make sure he wasn’t offended if I make a joke at his expense. I can tell he
actually appreciates my inappropriate jokes. Last night, he was at he boat with
a friend and I told him to win lots of money because mama needs a new pair of
shoes and he told me he would win me some cash and I responded (maybe a little
too quickly) “no ones…I left that life behind” and I got an “lmao” and I am
sure he did have to regain his composure on the other end of the phone. He’s
starting to call me on my crap like I have started to call him on his. We have
a pretty good relationship.
You know, for two people that have never really talked.
Chaps needs to get a move on because the last guy I had a
purely textual relationship with got kicked to the curb…after about six months.
33 years old in 25 days Lainie does not have that kind of
time.
Also, I am ready to get to know Chaps for real. We barely
had a conversation the night we met and the guy I have been texting sounds like
a blast and seems confident enough not to be intimidated by personality (or
maybe he is and that’s the problem). Either way, I need him to piss or get off
the pot. (Wait. Am I the pot in this scenario? I am not trying to get pissed
on.)
I am trying to stay even keel about all of this even though I
keep thinking of every possible scenario why he isn’t texting me and how I am
going to end up alone juxtaposed with planning our wedding and naming our
children.
I know, I know, I am a mess.
The key is to successfully grab a hold of Crazy Girl Lainie
and lock her away while Rational and Level-headed Lainie figures this all out.
Just one problem: I don’t know where to find Rational and
Level-Headed Lainie.
She went on vacay and there is no cell service where she is.
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